Run
by lilmisspoppets
Summary: I had been told to run and had no urge to look back, feet pounding one after the other. Edward has left but now there's a new vampire who seems to know where he is. Should she run to Edward? Edward/Bella slight Bella/Jake Please! R & R!
1. Foolishness

**A/N Warning Major Twilight series spoilers. Please read and review. This is something I randomnly started writing and slowly a plot is forming. Bella is being pursued by a vampire (per usual) but then is rescued by someone with intriguing information. What does he know and how and where will that take her? Thanks. Lilmisspoppets. Just so you know this is set after Edward leaves in New Moon and she knows all about Jacob and what he is! If you have any more questions feel free to ask in a review or private message.**

I had been told to run and had no urge to look back, feet pounding one after the other. The whole effort was exceedingly pointless this I knew. Yet I did not stop moving, my body so furiously crying out to live. With each step I strained my ears trying to hear my killer pursuing me, as I knew he soon surely would, it was merely a matter of time. How long did I have minutes, seconds? Nobody could hold it off I'd seen it in action. It was invincible and that poor boy dying now as well as me. For it said I smelt gorgeous and the look in its eye told me it was a hunter it would never stop. I knew exactly what it was, a being you would be foolish not to fear, a foolishness I had divulged in one too many times. This time he would be proud of me, for the fear was immense and a sense of doom surrounded me. It was his fault though for he left me on my own, the human magnet for trouble. He broke me, so I yearned for danger and I found the most dangerous thing out there. Now nobody could save me, for he was gone. My feet glued themselves to the ground refused to move, I understood their request immediately. I collapsed to the floor in a soft heap, lying backwards onto the damp mulch ground. However far, I ran it would never be far enough. I could make myself move impossibly fast but it would be faster still. So now I desired nothing more than to divulge myself in foolishness, and close my mind to all but the one I longed for. I could think of him now in my last moments where the pain would be quenched by death. Edward my perfect being, it was his fault I was about to die, but how could I be angry towards him? He was an intricately formed saint, my angel of sorts and now I saw his face. Looked in his honey coloured eyes, embraced his smooth stone lips listened as he whispered softly in my ear. So sweet that this moment would never end for me, despite the fact that he had gone.

"Bella, get up. Don't give up, keep running." I breathed a sigh of comfort, closing my eyes more firmly so that the image could not be taken from me.

"No." I felt a smile creep upon my lips, as I said it. I watched a frown crinkle itself between his eyes. A small growl erupted from deep in his throat that was surely terrifying but sounded blissful to me.

"Run Bella. For me. Run." He begged his golden eyes scorching, hypnotising. "You can think of me later. Survive Bella."

"But you don't want me so why should I care about later?" He threw his hands up in frustrated disbelief and began to pace. I could see my stubbornness reflected in his eyes whenever he neared me.

"For Charlie for Jacob for Renee. Run Bella." His last words were a command spoken inches from my face I could feel his cool breath on my skin. I opened my eyes instantly disappointed to see nothing but trees before me. I still could not resist him. I growled at myself and laughed at the irony, however I was instantly silenced as realisation hit me. Someone was sitting staring at me, from a smoothed rock a few feet away. They had a bemused expression, which informed me that they had been watching for quite some time. How had I not noticed them before? I closed my eyes firmly shut counted to three and opened them again, trying to stop myself from seeing things. For he should surely not be alive, he should have been crushed easily. Then I saw that his eyes were red, pure crimson and shock spread from me in ripples.

This all happened within seconds and then I was running again. Tripping over tree roots and brambles, scraping my hands as I briskly got to my feet each time. I only looked forward, as I waited for that deadly hand to grasp my shoulder. I ran aimlessly hoping this was the right way to be free from the labyrinth that was the forest. Finally I saw light ahead, if I could just get to somewhere crowded. In the back of my mind a voice questioned why I was still alive, but my survival instinct hushed it. I broke free of the taunting trees and my heart fell, as a sense of irony swirled around my head.

My sudden sombre expression seemed out of place when surrounded by such beauty. A quiet wind ruffled the colours at my feet and tickled the long grass. The sun shone directly down upon the scene and the new pursuer stood in the centre of its glare. The beauty of the almost perfect circle diminished, by the diamonds glittering across his face. His arms were uncovered revealing a supple body, his jeans ragged and torn although there was not a scratch on his surface, his fair hair was unkempt and he wore no shoes. I resisted the urge to physically slap myself, how did I miss the signs, it was obvious what the "poor boy" was. I really was unobservant and I always thought I interpreted people well.

"Why do you run from me?" The boy's voice was pleasant and quiet, as if he deliberately spoke only loud enough for me to hear him. He cocked his head to the side, as I opened and then closed my mouth unable or unwilling to speak, I myself was unsure. "I saved you. He was going to kill you, but you still run from me. Surely you know I mean no harm, I have not attempted to kill you." I concluded now that he spoke softly so as not to scare me and I relaxed as I knew my fate was now in the hands of this intriguing vampire and his need for sustenance, nothing I did would make a difference.

"Why are you here?" I stepped towards him into the blinding sunlight appreciating it's warmth on my face, reminding me of Jacob. My voice showed no hint of fear, as I stood calmly a few feet from a monster. Foolishness had returned.

"I was intrigued about the human that Edward so dearly loves the one that smells so delicious." On the final word he took a deep appreciative breath. "Your beau does not lie."

"Edward," I winced at the name, forbidding anymore thought of him to enter my mind, "Does not love me." I tried to keep the pain from my voice, but my voice broke on the last word determined to betray me. The boy merely smiled. I frowned before turning away and stomping back towards what I hoped was the path.


	2. Knotted Hair

Branches caught at my hair determined to entwine themselves and create a leaf filled mess on top of my head. I continued to stride on, becoming confused as my path remained impeded by nature only. Then the voice I'd been expecting spoke from a few feet behind me.

"You're going the wrong way." The voice seemed highly amused, reminding me of someone I was trying to forget. I turned to face the boy, but saw nothing as a rush of wind whistled past me blowing my knotted hair. I sighed in annoyance and stood still waiting. Then I felt someone behind me and now the voice was whispering right into my ear, "If you want to leave this forest the path's this way". My shoulder was pulled around so swiftly that I found myself lying on the floor disorientated. My mouth formed a stubborn line as a short laugh escaped his lips. His expression softened and he reached down and hauled me softly to me feet. I was perplexed at first until I noticed the tear trickling down my face for no apparent reason. As, I realised this embarrassing fact, his arms enclosed around me. Now the tears were coming fervently. "Edward would kill me if he knew that I made you cry." His tone made me smile and wish that his delusion was real, that Edward really would still kill for me. I continued to sob silently, gulping like a fish for air, trying to breathe without love.

His breathing steadied as if he were attempting to teach me how my lungs should fill and empty. We stood there for a few moments, and his smooth cold body moulded until I was almost too comfortable. He took a deep breath. Then suddenly I was standing alone. I could just make out a figure standing 20 feet away through the trees, but the details were obscured. I cried louder now, as a feeling of loneliness was allowed to reach me. "Sorry." The boy called. "You smell delicious, it's overpowering." The tears are uncontrollable, as memories creep up on me too. Edward moving impossibly fast away from me whenever I got dangerously close. "Don't cry." He sounds pained by the idea of it. Slowly he walks back towards me, taking shallow breaths in a slightly too obvious effort to test himself. He reaches for me and I go to him not sure why I feel compelled to do so. He holds me, until finally my weeping ceases.

"Who are you?" I stare at him in awe as I speak his face is as beautiful as the rest of his kind. He wipes away a tear softly with his finger tips.

"Zachariah, Zak." He states it as though that answers every unspoken question that I may have. The authority in his voice shows he is older than his face may suggest. My forehead crinkles as my mind mulls over what I know about him and I find myself concerned about the many gaps. His hand gently smoothes away the lines. "I have a message for you well it's kind of a message. Edward still loves you, he needs you. You have to find him before its too late."

"Too late for what," I whisper as a sense of unease spreads over me. I bury my face in Zak's body to hide my expression.

"Too late for Edward to realise his mistake," Zak whispered as though it was a secret, as if the trees could hear us. His ran his hand from my hair, using the pause to remove the broken twigs and leaves.

"I'll always be Edwards." Zak tilted my head up so I could see his raised eyebrows showing confident disbelief.

"Jacob."He said simply. I opened my mouth to retort but closed it when the words got caught on the tip of my tongue. There was no point denying what I'd been considering, but if I had a choice. If I really had a choice there was no competition. I didn't love Jacob, I liked him. He started to talk when it was apparent my loss of words was not going to be resolved quickly. "I will keep you safe. I owe Edward he saved me. I must do what I can to right things, to repay him. That is why I'm telling you. Now follow the path and go Bella. Don't return to these woods, you really are a magnet for trouble." A smile crept across his lips, making my heart jump as we both reminisced about the same person. For the first time in what felt like eternity, there was someone here real who was thinking about Edward, someone who had known the truth about him like I had. Zak seemed to even understand how I was feeling. "I'll be watching Bella." He pushed me in the direction of the path and then was gone from sight, mine at least.

"Wait Zak," There was no reply, but I had a feeling he could hear me so I continued; "Can you do something special?" He was beside me in an instant a look of wonder on his face.

"He said you were observant." Zak laughed. "I can see where a relationship will lead. Not like Alice though I don't see just anything. I touch a person and I see the paths laid out before them, and how relationships can form or change or fail." I smiled to myself his words did not surprise me. "Now go home Bella." There was a rough edge to his voice that comforted rather than frightened. I felt like he cared and wanted to protect me. Vampires will either never stop until they have murdered me or do everything in their power to prevent my death. I giggled to myself as I stumbled down the path. I thought I'd worked out which category Zak fell into. I knew why I'd never truly feared him, I'd not heard Edward's voice of caution, and I'd trusted the lack of hallucination. My chuckle was more heartfelt now, as I contemplated what someone could think if they could read my mind. The hole in my chest flared, warning me that thoughts of the past were dangerous. I knew I would not sleep tonight, the pain would be too much, but the memories had been worth it. There was something else deep down in the heart of me: a small seed of hope sown by Zak.

I saw a figure ahead and smiled running happily towards it. I only tripped over my feet once in my hurry. For some reason after talking to Zak even the sun seemed brighter.


	3. Bye

He had been quiet for some time now and the tension between us had become uneasy. His sombre mood was dampening the happiness I had felt since my conversation with Zak. He walked about a metre in front of me pausing only to hold back branches or yank me over tree roots when the terrain became treacherous for anyone as clumsy as me. I could hardly hear his footsteps, but his presence seemed to drown out everything else in the woods.

"Would you just get over it already?" My voice was harsh and the sigh that followed added to the complaint. I looked down as the tree roots became lethal and walked straight into Jacob's back. He turned swiftly grabbing my arm so I didn't fall but his expression was murderous.

"Get over what exactly? That you wandered into the woods alone, when I asked you not to. That you almost got yourself killed by a vampire or that you were saved and then had a pleasant conversation with another one. Who told you that he would be watching out for you! Could you possibly confuse the situation anymore Bella?" His face was contorted with rage and anguish, his hands shaking violently as he strained to keep control. I felt no fear, only irritation at his idiocy.

"All of it! I'm very sorry I walked into the woods, I will be sure to report to you my every action from now on. It's not as if I asked random vampires to turn up and try to kill me or save me." I screamed before pushing past him and continuing down the path. The anger bubbled out of me as I walked desperate to get to the end of the path. Finally I escaped the forest smiling as the sight of my truck greeted me. Automatically I got in and started the engine comforted by the familiar sound. I started as the passenger door opened and Jacob climbed in looking suitably apologetic.

"Sorry. Will you drive me home?" He looked forwards pointedly, refusing to catch my eye.

"Why don't you just run Jacob?" I kept my tone hard and stared reading his expression, well the reflection of it in the windscreen anyway.

"Because, I want to talk to you, please Bella." I smiled at him, and the pain in his face melted away. It wasn't good to be this close to Jacob, even though he knew how I felt. I shouldn't be this attached his pain shouldn't feel like my pain, not when I had a renewed hope that Edward could be mine again. Jacob was going to get hurt just by my wanting of someone else especially since it was a vampire. As I drove, barely concentrating on the road -I didn't really need to my mind new its way on auto pilot- I contemplated how exactly I was going to find the Cullens and fulfil Zak's wish. Even if I found him and he didn't want me, even if this was a trap, I would be happy that I'd tried and not just left it. At least, I realised I could think about them now without any pain, because my mind was set I would find them and find out the truth even if it killed me. My reverie was broken by an inquisitive wolf.

"What are you thinking about?" Jacob smiled his eyes moving rapidly across my face as if he was memorising every line. The rest of his face was composed as if my answer was irrelevant, but his eyes always told the truth.

"You don't want to know." I stated confidently. I grinned cheekily at him to hide my discomfort and stared at the road.

"Bella, please don't go getting yourself hurt. Stay safe for me. There's only so much protection I can give you. You have to help yourself sometimes." He watched me now every tiny movement I made was logged.

"OK Jacob." I said with all the sincerity I could muster when I knew I intended to do the absolute opposite of helping myself.

"You were thinking about him weren't you?" Only a slight trace of hatred was apparent in his voice, masked by the lightness of his tone. He sounded certain though, so I didn't bother to lie.

"Yes. I told you, you didn't want to know." He nodded smiling slightly, but it soon disappeared.

"He's going to get you killed and he's not even here." His eyes narrowed as he mused, then a grin lit up his face. "I might have to kidnap you to protect you." I glared at him a stubborn line set upon my face.

"You dare Jacob Black and I'll ...I'll..." My threat faded, as I realised there wasn't much a teenage girl could do to hurt a werewolf. He seemed to come to the same conclusion and grinned at me like the Cheshire cat.

"You'll do what exactly?" His smile widened. I rolled my eyes. "You're not going anywhere." His tone was so certain that I was having are hard time thinking of a retort. Maybe it would be best if I just disappeared, didn't give Jacob any warning. He couldn't catch me if it took him a while to realise I was gone.

"Fine," I huffed but his eyes remained fixed on my face. Searching for the lie I was trying so hard to disguise. I parked up just outside his house, killing the engine so I could say goodbye properly, but also subtlely. "See you later Jake." He frowned, his hand already on the door handle.

"You can't leave me Bella. Do you understand?" His eyes were intense conveying how heartfelt his words were. "You can't leave me with my own hole. I love you." He leaned towards me and very gently pressed his lips to mine. Suddenly my door opened startling me, Jacob pulled away. There stood a very mischievous young vampire. He looked directly at Jacob and for a fleeting second touched his hand which was already outstretched towards me. Zak smiled softly.

"She's not meant for you, but I promise someone else very close by is." A deep roar erupted from Jacob's throat and Zak vanished without a trace.

"Sorry Jake. Please don't kill him he saved my life. Err... bye." Jacob recognised his dismissal and opened his door as I shut mine.

"He's not the only one who will be watching you." He said meaningfully before slamming his door and striding away obviously muttering intently under his breath.

"Bye Jake." I whispered as the engine roared into life along with my heart which had been numb for too long.


	4. Mr Complication

I drove home as quickly as my truck would allow. I knew I only had minutes, maybe not even that, before Jake turned up on patrol. Charlie was in the living room watching yet another game. I called "hi" as I ran up the stairs two at a time. Within seconds the door was shut and I was on my knees. Searching for my overnight bag which I knew was under the bed, somewhere. Finally I found it. I unzipped it as I moved around my room throwing in the necessities. I grabbed my phone charger and the money I kept stuffed in a sock. It was almost full now so I went into the bathroom and grabbed any toiletries I needed. I was packed and ready in less than five minutes. Now just to tell Charlie, I took a deep breath and walked into the living room.

"Dad, I'm going on a spontaneous holiday. Starting here and ending up in Phoenix and then I'll fly back. I'll be back before school starts." I lied confidently, something I was getting almost too good at. His eyebrows shot up and he opened his mouth to argue. I walked towards him with the full knowledge that time was ticking by. I held his hand softly. "I need to do this. It's the only way I'll get over him. I'm not a child dad. I promise I'll keep in touch. Let me do this." He went to speak again but I hushed him. "Bye." I was out the door and in my truck before he could put a coherent sentence together. I reversed out the drive without looking and pulled onto the road. I had no idea where I was heading, just as long as it was out of Forks. I tried to put Charlie's hurt face out of my mind, concentrating only on the road. There was a bang behind me as something jumped onto my truck. _Please don't be Jacob._ I begged. The passenger door opened and relief overcame me.

"Zak." I breathed; I was surprised to find myself smiling.

"Thought you might need to know where to go and obviously you can't drive all the way without sleep, so here I am your personal chauffeur." I laughed, as a weight I didn't know was there lifted from my shoulders. It was strange that I found his presence so comforting.

"Is Jacob anywhere nearby?" I looked around, as if _my_ eyes could actually make him out in the darkness.

"Nope you made a clean escape. Very quick, for a human I might add. Now switch, I doubt you know your way to Alaska." He winked at me cheekily. He slipped underneath me smoothly, as I climbed onto the passenger seat. We hardly touched.

"Alaska?" I asked slightly shocked, that would have been the first place I would have gone to find him.

"He was having some reflective time when I met him, but that's where his family is. He was heading back there when I came to find you. Mind you he told me that you were probably way over him, I thought I'd have a much harder job of persuading you to find him." He touched my hand lightly, in a comforting gesture, his eyes surveying me. Even though I knew he didn't need to look at the road, I still felt uneasy when he didn't. He looked confused at my worried expression and then laughed. "You want me to keep my eyes on the road right?"

"Right." I nodded, not even bothering to question how he had guessed this. He'd seen Edward's memories about me after all.

"Whatever the lady desires," He chuckled heartily. "I met him, when he was searching for another vampire. Victoria." I shivered at the name, and squeezed my hand gently. "He's a useless tracker, and was then moving up towards Alaska admitting defeat. We got talking and I accidentally touched him and saw the way he felt about you. We'd talked about you for hours. I held onto his shoulder as he thought of strong memories I saw them too, saw how he couldn't live without you, saw how it would end if you didn't go back to him."

"He left me." I said quietly.

"Only to protect you, he loves you too much if that's possible. Then I find you in the woods, being pursued. He told me all about your rubbish luck. Then when I touched you I saw how your feelings equal his and then I saw Mr Complication."

"Jacob." I smiled, nodding. "I was only going to be with him to make him happy."

"You keep telling yourself that." Zak looked straight ahead, unsmiling. I frowned disliking his tone. Of course Jacob was just a second option. I loved him as no more than a brother, didn't I? He knew that I made it clear we could never be together, however determined he was.

"Will you be okay? In a cab with me I mean. My smell wont overpower you will it?" My voice was a whisper; me being killed wasn't a particularly comfortable topic. Zak didn't tense like I expected, he just beamed at me.

"Anyone but you would be difficult, but knowing how deeply someone feels about you I don't think I could end your life. Mind you don't go bleeding now will you." I just looked away, not really knowing quite what to say. Then another question sprung to my mind.

"You said you owe Edward?" I looked at Zak now his wavy blonde hair concealing his eyes from my view.

"I was a bit like Jasper, unhappy with killing people. In fact I was depressed about. I was thinking about going to the Volturi asking to die. Edward told me about being a "vegetarian". He saved my life." I frowned in confusion his words didn't make sense to me.

"But your eyes are still red." I blurted out without thinking.

"Oh I know." He said simply. "That's because it takes a while for the diet to change your eye colour. I haven't killed anyone since talking to Edward and that was only around two maybe three weeks ago." I pulled my hand out of his grip instantly. I curled up against the passenger door, as far away from the monster, as I could. "Oh Bella don't overreact. Mind you he'd be happy you'd learnt a sense of fear. I'm not going to hurt you. Don't you think I would have by now? Do you want to find Edward or not?"

"Yes." My muscles relaxed again. I had to trust this vampire, I had no choice. I'd made my decision find Edward or die trying.

"I'll keep stopping off to hunt don't worry." He tried to console me and for some reason the way he talked about hunting so casually did comfort me. "Like I said I couldn't kill you now anyway." He grinned at me and all sense of the previous terror washed away. "Alaska here we come."

"Edward here I come." I smiled now, anticipating seeing his beautiful face again. Zak took my hand again and squeezed it gently.

"Shit." He whispered.

"What?" I asked, confused by the sudden edge to his voice.

"Now we have two Mr Complications." He sighed deeply. "And from the look of that wolf they're both going to Alaska." I followed his gaze out the driver's window but couldn't see anything but black.


	5. Blue eyes

Jacob had been running alongside us for the past 3 hours, he never seemed to tire. He was frequently out of my sight, but he only occasionally slipped out of Zak's. Sometimes Jacob had to detour around a village or town, being careful not to be seen. He hadn't tried to speak with us and we hadn't stopped to let him really. He could follow me all the way to Alaska it wouldn't stop me going. I was just worried he would get himself hurt, that's the main reason I ever worried about Jake. After Zak's outburst about Jacob being here he had gone very quiet and abruptly told me to sleep. I didn't really try I just closed my eyes and pretended; eventually I got bored and sat up. Still he refused to speak. I wondered what I had done wrong, maybe he was angry Jacob was here and I hadn't gotten away properly. He concentrated on the road, which I was glad about, but I knew he didn't really need to. Why was he being so tetchy? I curled back up to sleep and that's when it hit me. He had said there were two Mr Complications, what the hell did that even mean? I opened my eyes to ask but he spoke before I could.

"We would get there quicker if you would let me run with you." His voice was soft showing that this was just a suggestion, something to consider. He looked at me now, finally. It was weird a swell of relief filled me, as if I was sad that he hadn't been gazing at me before. My eyes narrowed automatically as I considered this strange emotion. I mean no one likes being ignored but should I really feel so happy that Zak's talking to me. Well we always knew my mind didn't work right and here's more proof if we needed it. Zak's red eyes were locked on mine and I realised he was still waiting for an answer.

"It makes me sick, but we could when we get a bit nearer." He nodded and looked back to the road. I could see Jake through the trees. He was looking forward too, concentrating on nothing but the ground beneath him. I wondered what was going on in his head. How many voices were demanding his return? Poor Jacob I was so glad my mind would always be my own. "Zak..." I started timidly, not really sure I wanted to hear the answer to my next question; "you said there were two complications Jake and who else?" Zak stared at me anxiety clearly displayed on his face. I knew he was going to lie before the words left his lips.

"Oh no one my ability must be mucking up." He laughed trying to hide his concern, he didn't fool me. No vampire ever did, well except James, and I think I knew that he didn't have my mum I went anyway to end it all, but of course Edward couldn't let me go. Here I was chasing him I couldn't let him go either it seems. Hope swelled in my heart what if what Zak was saying were true and Edward still loved me, I tried to quash the feelings before they got too out of hand. I noticed Zak was staring at me curiously, he put his hand on mine again and his eyes returned to the road.

"Can we stop to eat?" My stomach gurgled loudly, as if to help persuade him. I looked down embarrassed. I wondered whether Jacob would talk to me.

"We'll stop next time there's an opportunity. Your wolf won't cause trouble will he?" Zak seemed unperturbed by an angry wolf, the question was said casually just to check. He gazed at me again. I tried to imagine what colour those red eyes would be if he was still human. I decided on blue to go with the soft fair hair and defined cheek bones. I realised it was my turn to speak again. My cheeks reddened, causing me to inwardly curse my body and its constant blushing. It took me a minute to remember what Zak said, wolf, Jacob, trouble, yes.

"Probably, but I'll control him." I giggled putting my head down so that my hair could cover my coloured cheeks. "Can I ask you something?" I whispered hesitantly, regretting opening mouth.

"Yeah sure," Zak grinned nonchalantly. He watched me inquisitiveness and something else less easily defined hidden in his eyes.

"What colour were your eyes?" The muscles I didn't realise he were tensing instantly relaxed. He chuckled clearly relieved that I hadn't wondered about anything more serious. My mind started filing through the possible things I could have asked. I couldn't think of anything that would have made him so... nervous, yes that was it he had looked nervous.

"They were blue." He responded with ease. His eyes were still on me as he smoothly pulled into a petrol station. "Go get something to eat I'll wait here." I opened my truck door and slammed it behind me, walking swiftly the few metres to the shop entrance. The petrol gage was clicking behind me and I realised that Zak was filling up. I turned looking at the number we were parked beside, five. I almost jumped out of my skin, because a rather grumpy looking Jacob was suddenly standing in front of me. I heard a soft rumble from Zak, but one look from me made him hush.

"I'm not letting you do this." Jacob glared straight at me, his whole body shaking violently. I touched his arm gently. I could hear Zak's warnings but ignored them, as I hugged Jacob holding him close to me. He continued to quiver, but I felt safe. I was pretty sure Jake would never hurt me. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella, move away from him he's dangerous." I gasped so loudly, that Jake pulled away slightly thinking he'd hurt me. I hadn't heard that voice since the day I met Zak. The harmonious tone set my heart racing, even though I was determined to see Edward in person soon. I shook my head, to tell both Jake and my imaginary Edward that I was fine.

"Jake, at least let me get some food." I complained. He held me until his shaking subsided and then slid his hand down my arm, taking my hand in his firm grip. I could see a glint of determination in his eyes. He wasn't planning on letting me go, not now that he had found me again. He walked with me into the shop where I bought some packaged food for the rest of the journey. I made him hold it all in protest to the fact that he was refusing to relinquish my hand. Once I'd paid for everything, including petrol, Jacob dragged me back out to my truck. I squashed all the food into my overnight bag, as Zak watched from the driver's seat in silence. Jake stood behind me also watching my movements in case I made a run for it, as if I'd get very far. I grabbed my overnight bag and put it over my shoulder. "I guess I'm going home then Jake?" Within seconds Zak was by my side, growling in objection. The tension between them was thick, and I knew the only thing stopping them fighting was me.

"Too right," Jake nodded, as if his exchange with Zak hadn't happened. I surreptitiously touched Zak's arm. Zak grabbed me and threw me on his back, I had the sense to close my eyes and then we were off. I didn't look back. I didn't want to know if Jake was following us or not. All I wanted to do was run, towards _my_ Edward.


	6. Alaska

**A/N Sorry it took so long to update. Please review.**

I kept my head down and eyes closed the whole journey, which amused Zak immensely. Apparently the "dog" wasn't following us. I kicked his hip when he said that, but it hurt me a lot more than it hurt him and I almost fell off which caused him to laugh harder. We didn't really talk much, not with me trying to concentrate on not throwing up all over him. We got there faster than I would have believed possible. He stopped setting me on my feet; I wrapped my coat around me tighter.

"It's about a mile to the Denali's house, I can smell the trail. I thought you might want to walk the rest of the way so you don't look green. They'll be able to hear us soon anyway." He answered all my silent questions and took my hand in his, as a comforting gesture. I frowned as what felt like electricity flickered between us. We walked in a comfortable silence for a while the snow crunching under our feet; the Denali's lived in a more isolated area than the Cullen's. I'd put all my faith in Zak, it seemed ridiculous when I considered how very blindly I'd followed him. For all I knew he'd taken me away so as to kill me with no distractions, such as hormonal wolfs. We could be miles away from the Denali's and Edward but I'd never know and yet I felt safe with him. It was disturbing how comfortable I was in the presence of a monster, who wanted nothing more than my blood at that exact moment. He sighed deeply beside me and I stopped walking. Zak turned and faced me glancing from my face to my now stationary feet. "I thought you wanted to find Edward." He put his hands on his hips, as if my very presence genuinely frustrated him.

"What's made you so sad?" I asked it without thinking the words rolling off my tongue before I could stop them. I regretted the question immensely as lines of doubt crinkled his forehead, his eyes surveying me anxiously. I watched confused as he bit down on his lip, as if contemplating his next words carefully. He stared at me for what felt like a lifetime, as if he were trying to convey something silent but important to me. Eventually I looked away blushing from the intensity of his stare. He looked at me like I was precious, as if he'd never seen anything like me before. And then he didn't say anything he just shrugged and walked away from me, leaving me glancing after him my eyes watering from the wind. I didn't follow. I_ wouldn't_ follow not until he'd answered my question, I resolved. Who did he think he was? Moody bloody vampire taking me far away from home and then not talking to me! I stood bewildered hugging myself, attempting to keep some heat in. He stopped a few metres ahead, turning around sharply to face me. I braced myself but his expression was soft rather than the ferocious glare I had expected.

"You have a new path Bella. Edward, Jacob or _me_, and I want you to choose me when I shouldn't." He said each word bluntly, as if he was refusing to let emotion enter his voice or he may get carried away. He continued to walk, so I could no longer look at his confused expression which conveyed the internal battle he was obviously struggling with. I stumbled after him on auto-pilot letting his words sink in. I had three options, well that was different. Trust me; I have to be greedy, I can't be happy with just two mythical creatures loving me. All thoughts of Edward had left my mind, I was thinking only of Zak. Did I love him? I didn't think so but there again I didn't think I loved Jacob. Then it hit me, I knew for sure that I loved Edward and that I would never be able to stop loving him. Didn't that remove the question mark from Zak and Jacob's names, because I was sure about Edward, that's all that mattered. "They're coming." Zak whispered quietly. Taking my hand and ensuring I stayed just a step behind him. I knew he was hoping I'd tell him to turn and run, that I wanted him. I wasn't going to lie. I felt guilty, as I stared at his pale face. He'd done so much for me, and I was going to hurt him. I really was bad luck. Maybe Edward should stay away from _me_, _I'm_ dangerous. His fair hair almost glittered, even though the sun was hidden behind clouds. I stopped myself from looking at him anymore, worried I might start thinking things that really wouldn't help. "We're looking for the Cullens Edward in particular." Zak called out assuredly, confidence back in his voice now. There was still no one in my sight, but they could obviously hear us now.

Then for some reason unbeknown to me, I hid my face in Zak's back. Not wanting to see the approaching vampires. Not wanting to see him? Why couldn't things just make sense? Why did he have to leave? I felt a rage I didn't know I was capable of possess me and my hands started shaking. I laughed inwardly, as I remembered how dangerous that would be if I were Jacob. Zak's hand still held mine firmly, his thumb rubbing soothing circles. I wondered what he must be thinking about my shaking, he must have known I wasn't scared. "I have a present for Edward." Zak said a realistic happiness in his tone. I smiled pleased that Zak was content. I shouldn't have gotten this attached to him, or to Jacob, or to Edward, not really, but like I could go back to Mike Newton now. I'd made my choice and I'd chosen monsters, now I had to deal with the repercussion of loving creatures that shouldn't exist. Then I heard something that made my heart race and my head spin.

"Zak, I must say I'm pleasantly surprised." It was his voice and he was real. He wasn't a morbid hallucination; he was only metres away from me. My knees almost gave out from under me, and now Zak gripped my hands tightly to keep me from falling. Relief is an overwhelming emotion. The cold wind blew again and my hair whipped around me. It was all happening so quickly. This couldn't be real. I had to be dreaming. I wasn't in Alaska with vampires? He wasn't standing so close to me? He'd left hadn't he? What was real?

"Bella?" Three confused male vampires chorused, and then I passed out.


	7. Home

**A/N Thanks to Dancer1901 and Eclipse1901 for their reviews and thanks to everyone else who has reviewed too. Also, thanks to everyone who has added this story as a favourite or put it on alert. I hope you continue to like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own twilight obviously. I do however own Zak, he is my own creation. Finally the last line of this chapter is the first line of a poem by Robert Frost, which I adore, it is at the beginning of Eclipse!**

I blinked furiously; disconcerted that four pairs of ravenous eyes were staring back at me. I was freezing, my whole body shaking from the cold and I was then about to protest about being left on the ground, when I realised that I was being held. The eyes that belonged to the arms holding me securely were Edward's, my breathing quickened as I gazed into them. Jasper stared at me curiously, his alert eyes flickering around the faces of those present and then back to me. He was obviously concerned about my fluctuating emotions. Emmett just looked happy, like he always did; I was convinced by now that he would appear full of joy no matter what the situation. His smile was almost contagious. I found myself elated at feeling so very comfortable and being able to remember so many minor details that seemed immensely important. Finally I met Zak's stare, and the sadness was apparent in his eyes. He tried to conceal it, but I had become able to read vampires much more easily than any human ever should. I felt attached to him, as if every slight movement he made I naturally compensated for, it was as if we were physically connected. I felt joined to Zak, but it was patent I was at home in Edward's arms. All this confusion must have been plain on my face, because Edward was surveying me with an anxious gaze. I frowned, as my thoughts caught up with my situation.

"How long have I been out?" I blurted, exhaling noisily as I realised I'd been holding my breath. How ironic, it was them that needed to hold their breath around me not vice versa. He started to walk then content that I hadn't lost the ability to speak when he left me. Zak, Jasper and Emmett fell into line. They walked at a human pace, Edward obviously remembered my sickness, or he was just reading Zak's thoughts. Maybe he didn't want me after all, and then it would be easy I could be with Zak, but oh gosh poor Jacob, I'd choose two vampires over him. Jasper and Emmett talked rapidly, the latter gesticulating wildly. Zak, however was silent, I truly hoped that he could contain his thoughts. Everything seemed to be happening much slower than real time.

"Only 5 or 6 minutes," Edward's light tone didn't fool me; he'd blatantly been fretting about me. This sent a rush of joy into my heart. Kick starting it, letting that seed Zak had sown, so long ago it seems now, grow until it blossomed. It could be true, he could still want me, and he could have lied to me in the woods. Or I could just be getting over excited about a slight edge to his tone. He was probably annoyed that I was here and wanted to get this over with quickly, that was it. "You're quiet." My reflection hadn't gone unnoticed; in fact he didn't have seemed to have taken his eyes away from me. I couldn't decide if this was a good or bad sign, I supposed it depended on perspective. Whether I would prefer to be with Edward or Zak? Why was I even contemplating that question? I realised I was just staring at his face, and that's when his beauty hit me again. I hadn't see it, not outside of my head that is, for so very long.

"Edward." I sighed in delight, beaming and feeling ridiculously self conscious. I opened my mouth, to tell him I could walk but closed it again. What if this was the last time I'd get to be in his arms? And more importantly, I didn't want to move, not ever, I wanted him to hold me always.

"What are you thinking about?" Curiosity burned brightly in his eyes, as he repeated the question he used to ask me frequently. I looked away then as if his intense gaze would break through into my mind somehow and tell him everything he had ever wondered. I was certain that some things were better left untold. I was sure he would disagree. As we walked, well as Edward walked, I began to forget those around us, as if we were in our own little bubble, our own little world, even if it was a silent one. I couldn't tell if he was happy or not, considering every time I looked at him, I had to look away, frightened my eyes would say too much, or that my blush would embarrass him. Yet despite the lack of communication I was unbelievably content. It was as if he had never left all the ice that had numbed me since his departure had thawed instantly when my eyes met his. "Bella." He said my name roughly with frustration. "You didn't answer my question." His voice sent thrills through me; the voice in my hallucination that I had adored so much seemed exceedingly feeble compared to reality.

"You," I said timidly, not sure if I was capable of completing a full sentence, while my thoughts were so irrational. I took deep breaths composing myself. It was easy to tell he was itching to inquire more from me, but I folded my arms as a sign that I wasn't up for questions. I didn't expect it to stop him for long though, he never seemed to quite get the hint. So it was a surprise when I saw a magnificent house before us and realised he wasn't intending to ask me anything more. The house seemed to be part of the landscape as if it had naturally formed like that. There was a lot of wood and glass, making it look light and beautiful from the outside. I shuddered as I remembered I was going into a house full of vampires and not all of them may be glad to see me. I heard a chuckle, he'd felt my shiver.

"Nobody's going to hurt you." He laughed. I glared at him unamused, but he didn't stop he just touched my nose lightly with his finger. "You're very cute when you're angry." He smiled at me as if I were the most beautiful being ever created, he really didn't see me very clearly. I raised an eyebrow, amazed that he seemed so at ease with me. I felt anger bubble up inside me he was acting as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't left me cold and broken. How dare he just pretend everything was fine. My eyes narrowed in infuriation. He guessed my thought train then and his expression turned sombre. "I'm sorry Bella." He whispered delicately in my ear, his breath tickling my cheek. The anger melted away, how could I stay mad at him? I closed my eyes breathing deeply concentrating on his scent and the feel of his arms around me. I was home again...

* * *

Something was right this time. The house felt different, unstable, as if it could collapse at any moment, taking my whole world with it, creating a fresh new one.

Did I want a new world?

I couldn't decide, so I left it to fate. It could determine whether the world should crash and burn.

I let myself wonder for just a moment, which of the world's I would prefer?

Which of my three paths would make me the happiest?

I really didn't know.

_Some say the world will end in fire some say in ice..._


	8. Wolfs, angels and sentient beings

Jacob Black, sat in the forest beside Bella's house, wondering if she'd ever come home. What had that bloodsucker done to her? Would she bring the leech back with her? His heart ached, and as the sun set below the clouds he thought of her and only her. Then he suddenly shifted and ran, he needed to forget about Bella Swan and let instinct take over.

* * *

We sat around a large mahogany table and most of the eyes were on me. I hated being the centre of attention at the best of times. Edward sat on my left, my hand in his; his eyes were the most intense. They were black, but he didn't seem to be uncomfortable rather the opposite, whenever he thought I wasn't looking he grinned, unable to contain his happiness. Zak sat on my right, holding my hand tightly, I wasn't sure if this was a gesture of support, or maybe he just didn't want to let go. I didn't think I wanted to let go of either of their hands if I was perfectly honest. I was at the head of the table, despite my protests. Alice sat next to Edward smiling wildly, I wondered if she'd foreseen this. Obviously, Jasper sat next to her; he was looking at me with a bewildered and slightly annoyed expression. I felt sorry he had to bear my emotions. Next to Zak was Carlisle, his face a mixture of concern and delight; he had an arm around Esme who wore the same expression. Emmett who had a soothing hand on a clearly irate Rosalie sat down from them. Finally, at the end of the table were faces I didn't know, most of them smiled at me, but some stared blankly ahead, obviously affronted at my arrival. I sighed deeply, confused and scared. I had fully realised by now that Edward was happy to see me, yet Zak didn't ever want to let me go and somewhere out there a rather livid wolf was pining for me, and to top it all off I loved them all. It had just taken a trip to Alaska for me to see it. We hadn't actually called a meeting everyone had quite naturally manoeuvred themselves into the dining room and sat down. I wish it had been premeditated at least then somebody would actually have something to say. As it was everyone seemed to expect me to start, but start what exactly?

"Zak brought me here to find Edward." I told the table as a whole, before turning to my left and asking for assurance. "He told me that you loved me and that he owed you, so yeah I think I'm meant to settle that debt." To my relief and annoyance, most of the room burst into laughter, including the two men holding my hands. Everyone visibly relaxed, which surprised me considering I hadn't noticed how tense they were before. Vampires have an art for deception. I looked around demanding an explanation for the sudden change in atmosphere.

"We thought maybe one of us was following you, or you were in some difficulty you wanted us to assist you in." Carlisle answered smoothly; his smile told me he was happy that my visit wasn't what he'd feared. Even Rosalie stopped pouting. I gazed at Edward poignantly, we needed to talk and I wasn't quite sure what I was going to say. Edward nodded pulling me up to my feet; Zak instantly let his hand fall on to his knee as if it had always been there. I stared at the sorrow in his eyes as I left the room. I doubted he knew that I had absolutely no more idea about how this was all going to end then he did.

"I want us to be alone." I spoke to Edward emphasising the last word, so that he understood that I meant, we couldn't be in hearing distance of anyone. He nodded and threw me onto his back, running fast and lithe like a cheetah. He put me down quickly, but held me still waiting for me to find my balance. I was panting from the shock, but his breathing was light and steady as always. I frowned remembering the gap between vulnerable human me and perfect sentient beings. It seemed to be widening all the time. He curled his arms around me and sat us both down, keeping me on his lap. "No one can hear us?" I confirmed, unsure why I was whispering. He noticed how stiff my body was, and his voice came out in a soft purr.

"Yes, is something wrong Bella?" I could feel his eyes boring down on me, as if still trying to unravel my always concealed thoughts. Maybe he thought time apart would have allowed the secret that he found so irksome to be unlocked, I was glad to find he was wrong. I didn't know what to do first, ask the questions that had haunted me for months or explain to him the feelings that were plaguing me now. I settled on questions then I could work up the courage to deal with the significantly larger problem.

"Why did you leave me? Did you lie to me? Why didn't you come back?" I said all three once, it wasn't as if he couldn't keep up, I gave him some time to think. It was strange for someone who had been around so long; I always had more patience than him when it came to these conversations. He played with my hair absentmindedly one finger and thumb twisting it around. I looked down at our feet entwined together, and wondered if our hearts still were too. My mind wandered, on to safer topics, like why could he sit so close to me and feel so at ease. Shouldn't I be tempting, a treasure and a curse in one?

"I left because I thought you would be safer. Zak's thoughts dismiss that idea. Yes I lied to protect you not that worked. I was going to come back, I was leaning towards the idea more and more every day, trying to convince myself that I would just check on you and if you were happy I'd leave again."

"Would you of left?" He turned my face towards him slightly so that I could see that heart stopping crooked smile.

"Never, I will never leave you again." I gulped and he looked at me inquisitively, his eyes searching my face. "That wasn't all was it? Bella what aren't you telling me." His voice was soothing no demand although I know he yearned to know what I was keeping from him. There would never be a good time.

"Things have changed Edward, I still love you, but I have fallen in love with two other people too. You know Zak's gift, well he told me my three paths, and I just can't decide. You have to understand, you left me broken and cold. Then Jacob Black..." Edward groaned slightly at the name as if the person made it worse. "Well he did his best to fix me, he was there, and you left me in pieces. Like there was a hole in my chest, and he managed to plug it in a bit, and before I knew it he'd fallen for me and then I considered being with him. I'd always love you, but I started to love him as well, I thought you'd gone forever; I needed to make the best of what I had left. Then, I can see myself with someone else as well, and he's amazing and kind and he loves me just as much as you do." He stopped me there, putting a finger to my lips. His eyes were sad, but he didn't seem angry.

"No one can love you as much as me Bella Swan, that I promise you. If you want to be with someone else I won't stop you, I love you enough to let you go. But, I'll always watch out for you, I'll always keep you safe, and wait for the day the boy you have chosen makes a mistake and then I'll be waiting for you." I shook my head dispelling the tears that were falling from my cheeks. Pain ripped through me, as if he had just told me he was leaving all over again.

"Hold me." I managed to murmur, his arms wrapped around me securely as I quivered. "You don't understand, I love you, I don't want to love anyone else." The sobs were louder now as fear joined in with the pain. What if he left me again? I had Jacob my personal sun and Zak my secret angel, but would they truly be able to replace _my_ Edward. He rocked lightly, attempting to soothe me.

"Hush, _my_ Bella." Then he began to sing softly, the lullaby I knew so well. _My_ lullaby. And the world fell back into place.


	9. As long as you're mine

**A/N Sorry it took so long to update...**

We walked back towards the house, my whole body trembling, because I didn't need Alice's ability to predict what was going to happen when we got back. Edward held my hand tightly, tension rippling through his body too. I couldn't keep my gaze off of him, I totally forgot my clumsiness, I didn't fall over once though, he kept me balanced. That was true about everything; he kept all of me balanced and happy, well almost all of me. I hadn't said much after the crying ceased; just that I had to talk to Zak and that I needed to go home. Things that were both true, but to him seemed irrelevant. I was trying not to dwell on whether he was coming home with me or not, I wouldn't pressure him, I didn't ask, I didn't want to hear him say no. I knew he was itching to ask me questions, you could feel his inquisitiveness prickling in the silence, and I couldn't stop myself from smiling. It was almost how it used to be, almost perfect. He looked at me confusion in his beautiful – even if they were black –eyes. Which reminded me:

"How can you be around me?" It took him a minute to comprehend I was talking about scent; I guess it was a rather random question considering our previous conversation. He laughed then, as if me smelling so very delicious, was funny. I scowled.

"I lost you. I could never hurt you, knowing that I would have the pain of truly losing you, and my life with it." He said simply, causing me to beam in spite of myself. Despite the impossible and unforgettable gap between us, the fact that he was every girls dream gentleman. He truly wanted to be mine. My heart stuttered at the thought, he heard it falter and grinned at me. Soon we back at the house, both smiling broadly. I was in Alice's arms in a flash, she was wittering at me instantly.

"I'm so glad. I love Forks, we can leave now. I made everyone pack. Oh Bella. Yay!" She looked over my shoulder to glower at Edward. "I told him not to leave. Told him how you'd be, that it wouldn't work. Did that stupid stubborn boy listen to me? No of course not, I can see into the future, and he still totally ignored me. 'Your visions are subjective Alice, things can change'". She imitated. He held up his hands in surrender from her onslaught, chuckling.

"Well they are subjective." He stopped laughing, his tone more serious. "They can _still_ change." He stared at me pointedly, causing Alice to roll her eyes. Just then Zak walked out, and smiled sadly at me. He mouthed Edward's right. I shook my head, guilt sweeping over me, no I whispered silently and he nodded accepting what we both already knew deep down. Jasper was looking from me to Zak obviously noticing our silent display, in fact everybody was staring at me, stupid observant vampires. Edward and Alice both looked abashed and confused; I guess future seeing vampires still don't see it all. To my relief Carlisle spoke up.

"Why don't we all get our things? Zak you stay and talk to Bella." Rosalie was glaring at me, and Emmett dragged her back to the house. All of the Cullens and Denalis followed leaving just me, Zak and silence. He walked towards me slowly, misery in his eyes. His hand reached out to me, and he touched my face gently, I think we were both surprised I didn't push him away, and a flicker of hope lit up his face. I refused to meet his gaze. A tear trickled down my cheek, just one mourning what could of been, but it wasn't like the river which came from me, when I thought of being without Edward. This tear confirmed my decision, but it still felt like my heart was breaking. I still felt as though I was going to crumble into pieces any minute. The only thought I had to comfort me, was that it could be worse, right now I was finding it hard to figure how that was possible. Zak's arms wrapped protectively around me, and he breathed deeply, remembering my scent.

"You choose Edward." Zak stated it wasn't a question it was fact. "Good." He said in a tone that implied he felt the exact opposite. I snuggled into him, his body moulding to fit my shape perfectly. Who knew marble could be so comforting? I didn't think he was ever going to let me go, so I took a deep breath and stepped backwards away from him. He nodded solemnly. "I have to go now." I just stared at him unable to speak. I couldn't begin to fathom how I had become so entirely attached to someone I had known for such a little amount of time. He felt like part of me, but I knew someone else had a bigger part and that's what counted. He leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips, not passionately just a goodbye. "Thank you for showing me love Isabella Swan". Then he was gone, already too far away for my weak human eyes to see. I didn't know whether to cry or not, I didn't know what to do with myself. Then it hit me that I had to have another meeting like this, with a hormonal wolf with bad attitude, oh joy. Edward was by my side when I looked up; I hoped my eyes didn't betray how upset I was. He gazed worriedly at me; I knew he must have heard, but he just took my head in both my hands and kissed my forehead gently. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle and Esme get into a car. I turned to face the car properly as it drove off.

"They're going to the nearest airport to set up flights; it will be easier that way. Jasper and Alice will travel with us." At the sound of her name Alice bounded up, leaving Jasper to sort out putting the suitcases in the car. She looked at me accusingly, cocking her head to the side.

"You have a lot to explain, Missy, but first you need some sleep." It hit me then that I hadn't slept in at least twenty four hours, suddenly I felt a tiredness that I hadn't realise I'd been fighting back overwhelm me. Before I could crumple to the floor however, Edward had swung me into his arms. He carried me to the car and got in leaving my head on his lap, the rest of me curled up on the seat. He ran his fingers lightly through my hair.

"Sleep my Bella, but then we have to talk." I smiled dozily, I'd talk forever as long as he was mine.

**A/N Sorry to be evil, but I'm not going to update this again until I have 20 reviews, I know people are reading this and have it on alert. So please just review, even if you think it's rubbish!!! Thanks!!! Love LMP**


	10. Goodbye my Sun

**A/N I know I said I wanted 20 reviews and i'm really disappointed I didn't get them, but this story needs finishing even if it's only for my peace of mind. There's probably another chapter or two left so I will complete it. I'm starting another long term project that is an original story rather than a fanfic but I hope to still find time to continue writing some more fics. Please Review. Thanks LMP**

A cold hand swept across my forehead waking me from my uneasy sleep. My eyes opened instinctively and gazed at the face before me. He was perfect just like he had been in my dream, his beauty overwhelmed me and I had to remind myself to breathe. His face was contorted with worry that I couldn't comprehend right now in this blissful state how could anything be wrong?

"Bella, you were mumbling in your sleep you sounded very upset." His words were soft and soothing but implored for an answer. Oh yes, and then I remembered Zak's hurt face and began to imagine Jacob's expression when I told him of my choice and in his own words left him with a hole. Today was going to be bad. I sighed grudgingly when I realised Edward also wanted to talk with me, would I lose him too? "Bella." Edward's voice was almost a growl and I smiled at his impatience.

"Give the human time to think." I relaxed snuggling myself into his lap, we were still on the way back from Alaska but I guessed we weren't far from home. He glared out the window and I followed his gaze my weak eyes seeing nothing. I looked at him pointedly.

"Jacob has been shadowing for the last 50 miles." My heart lurched, a surge of grief swam through me. I had to do this now while I still could. Jacob needed to know that I wasn't his responsibility anymore, he had to let go.

"Stop the car." Jasper turned towards me concern etched on his face. I wondered what he had thought of my fluctuating emotions and then decided almost immediately that I honestly didn't care. Alice touched his arm slightly and he slowed pulling in at the next available space. Jacob was standing in human form beside the car as soon as it stopped. Fury rippling through him.

"For the next few minutes Bella has disappeared, I'm guessing you need to talk to the wolf." Alice spoke softly, almost completely hiding her disgust. Edward latched on to my arm in a firm grip obviously trying to convey that I was going nowhere. Alice touched his arm slightly.

"She will come back to you. Let her go." I smiled at her glad that she was begging so that I didn't have to. I wonder how much she had guessed, how she knew how important this conversation was. "We will go for a drive we'll be back for you in precisely ten minutes, make sure whatever you have to say has been said." I nodded, my smile fading as anxiety welled up inside me. Jasper kept his eyes on me as I went to step out from the car. Jacob held the door open with one hand the other outstretched towards me. His nose was wrinkled. Edward kept his hand around my right wrist, one look from me however made him let go. Calm surrounded me suddenly and I silently thanked Jasper and made a promise to do so out loud in the future. Jacob slammed the car door shut behind me and it speeded away, before Edward could change his mind. Jacob just stood staring at me his hands shaking with rage, his eyes soft but glazed over, showing no emotion. He was the cold Jacob I hated not my sun. I hoped that would make it easier.

"I'm taking you home Bella." His voice was strong and he frowned stubbornly. He took a step towards me but I backed away.

"I don't think you'll want to when I've said my piece." His frown deepened but he didn't advance just waited. I took a deep breath and began not knowing quite what I was going to say until I said it.

"I love Edward Cullen I always have and always will. Whether I love you or not Jacob is irrelevant and finding out would only make things harder for both of us. Nothing can overshadow Edward's love believe me." I grimaced remembering Zak before continuing. "I will always love you as a friend and whether you are there for me in that respect is your decision, but I am asking, no begging you to let me go and lead the life I want." I kept my voice very businesslike with no inflection. I had to go cold turkey. Cut Jacob out of my life before I hurt him more. My heart felt like it was being wrenched from me, breaking into a million pieces. His expression hadn't altered. His hand reached out to me then fell back to his side. He took half a step towards me and then faltered. "I'm sorry." I whispered emotion finally breaking through my facade.

"Bella." His voice twisted my name with pain and emotion, his eyes finally looked into mine. He searched them for what felt like a lifetime, before finding something there and taking another step towards me. He was right in front of me now, he put one arm around me restricting my movements. Then I knew what he was going to do why he'd need a hold on me to keep me from moving away. He tilted my chin towards his face and kissed me softly. I didn't respond just stood there frozen in shock. Then he kissed me more passionately a hand running through my hair, I tried to push him away and felt his warm body under my hands. Something clicked something changed and I knew Zak was right. I loved Jacob, but it still wasn't enough. It took me a few seconds to recognise that I was kissing him back and a few more to comprehend that I was enjoying it. Then abruptly he pulled away, leaving me not wanting more but filled with new possibilities. A whole life that could be mine, Jacob as a lover, living on the Res, Charlie's proud face, being part of a pack. I shook my head to clear away the images that I'd already decided to live without. "Now you know." Tears streaked down my face.

"It's still not enough." I whispered willing my heart to contradict me but it couldn't, I would forever be Edwards however much not being Jacob's hurt it wasn't anything compared to the agony of losing Edward. Jacob nodded managing a warped smile that faded almost as soon as it spread across his face.

"Just be safe Bella, I'll be waiting in the wings." Then he was gone I couldn't see him anywhere and as much as I yearned to call for him I knew I mustn't. I sank down on to the cold ground and waited for Edward to return. I longed for his embrace; it was the only thing that would truly take away all this pain. Images of Jacob and Zak replayed in my mind, conversations their parting kisses. My sobs became heavier my whole body heaving with the effort. Then it hit me Edward could leave me now. He had every right to I loved someone else two other people in fact, one was his mortal enemy and the other a great friend. Oh my god what if I was left with no one. My cries became banshee like and I prayed no one could hear me. I heard the car pull up beside me, but I didn't raise my gaze. Edward's arms ensnared me and pulled me into the car it began to speed away immediately.

"What has he done to her?" Edward growled anger in his words. I kept my eyes shut still quietly weeping. "Jasper stop trying to calm me." I wanted to complain, I needed the tranquillity but I couldn't bring myself to speak. Abruptly Edward's tone change, his voice no longer angry but confused, "Alice what was that, what did you just see?" He demanded.

"You need to talk to her." Alice whispered. Edward started to speak again but I cut him off saving Alice from more questions, and saving myself from the agony.

"Kiss me Edward." Nothing happened, just silence. "Kiss me." My voice broke. Then his hands were smoothing away the tears, his lips stopping the sobs from escaping. Nobody spoke as me an Edward continued our embrace, my tears came to a halt and my breathing returned to normal, well as normal as it can be when Edward's kissing me. Eventually he pulled away.

"Sleep _my _Bella. Everything feels better after sleep." I went to protest but he started to hum my lullaby, I couldn't refuse its melody. My eyes closed of their own accord and slowly I drifted off. I truly hoped he was right because it felt like things would never get better.


	11. Complete

"Tell me Bella." Edward's voice was tense his eyes boring into mine. I was going to tell him, I was going to tell him everything and I was going to say it perfectly so that he would still love me and not leave me alone again. Yet, however much I repeated this to myself in my mind, my brain just wouldn't function, my mouth just refused to work. It might have had something to do with how dazzling his eyes were, how he left me breathless every time I stared at his face. His expression was so gentle but fierce as well, and it was amazing, he was amazing. "Bella speak for Christ sake you haven't spoken a word in over three hours." I blinked furiously, but mind still didn't settle, so I closed my eyes instead and concentrated on breathing. I felt him shake me gently but I just put my hand up to quieten him. I needed to be totally ready for any reaction and more importantly I needed a reasonable plan of what I was going to say. Finally I opened my eyes although I kept my gaze fixed on his mouth as I started to speak.

"Firstly Edward Cullen you need to remember that I love you more than anybody or anything else in this world okay?" I didn't give him the time to answer, just in case he said something ridiculous, like he wasn't good enough for me, this was hard enough as it was. The rest of the words tumbled out in an elongated blur. "Zak could see relationships, he saw how I could be with Jacob, how I in fact loved Jacob before I saw it myself. I told Jacob today that I had chosen you but it still hurt like hell to see him in pain because of me." Edward put his hand to my face tilting it upwards so I had to look at him. I melted.

"Are you sure you made the right choice Bella?" His eyes flickered back and forth across my face impossibly quickly, looking for any hint of doubt. I shook my head; as usual he was being ridiculous.

"What part of I love you more than anybody or anything in this world did you not understand?" He went to speak then but I put a finger to his lips, frowning indignantly at his continued attempts to throw me off track. "That's not the worst of it." He raised an eyebrow a smile playing on his lips. My frown deepened. "Zak also saw me and him together when we were travelling; he fell deeply in love with me. I had three options, which is your fault for leaving me in the first place I might add." My rage grew as the smile widened, how could he be finding this even slightly amusing? "Then I wouldn't have got attached to Jacob and vice-versa and neither of us would have met Zak. So really this is your entire fault and has nothing to do with me. So yeah basically I love you with all my heart, but I can understand if you don't want to be with me. Edward stop smiling!" I turned away from him, my arms folded across my chest pompously. I knew I was acting childishly but I was practically having a nervous breakdown over this conversation and he had the nerve to smile.

"Bella," He soothed the amusement barely hidden in his voice. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me carefully onto his lap. His lips crept from my ear to my neck and back again, manipulating me until I relaxed. "I love you I totally understand. You're at an age where you are going to have confused feelings. You chose me and as long as you're happy with that choice then I will always be here for you. I will never walk away from you again, it almost killed me." He shuddered. "And that's not easy, considering I'm meant to be invincible and all." He brushed me hair back from my face and kissed my cheek lightly. "You silly, silly human. As if I could ever live without you. You could do anything and I'd still be here for you." Hardly jostling me he delicately turned me around, so that I was straddling him. His face inches from mine, his breath cool on my face. He leaned in and whispered against my lips. "We haven't done this properly for a while." Then he took my head in his hands and pulled it to his face kissing me tenderly but passionately at the same time. It felt like time stood still. In that one moment I knew I had made the right decision because however much Zak and Jacob loved me there kisses never made me do this. Never caused me to lose control and rather embarrassingly latch on to them in a very provocative manner. Oh yes, this was more than right, it was perfect. We were perfect and we always would be no matter what.

Alice tapped lightly on my shoulder and carefully untangled me from Edward. He didn't loosen his grip for a second but then finally relented.

"Edward, she's human she needs to breathe." Alice reprimanded, pressing her fingers to my lips gently. "You've made her go blue." She tutted, then called something unintelligible up the stairs. Esme flittered down with a blanket and hot water bottle, she gave them to me with a motherly look which said, 'I love you and don't even think about arguing with me' at the same time. Edward looked at us sheepishly.

"Sorry Bella." I smiled at him.

"There really is no need to apologise. I can think of no better way to die than in your arms." I blushed as I realised what I'd said and looked down quickly. I cringed as I heard someone make a fake Aww sound by the stairs.

"My little sister getting all sentimental." Emmett laughed as he walked towards us Rosalie stone faced next to him. She smiled at me so quickly that if I had blinked I'd have missed it and then went back to her usual demeanour. I practically growled at Emmett which made him laugh harder. So Edward properly growled his face darkening, which I must admit scared me slightly but at least Emmett shut up. Jasper walked cautiously to Alice's side, she immediately took his hand as if without thinking, as if it was more normal and instinctive than breathing. For her it probably was. Finally Carlisle came to stand with everyone. Eyeing me almost suspiciously, I wondered what else I'd done wrong, but then he turned accusingly to Edward.

"How long did she not have oxygen for?" Edward shrugged looking away from Carlisle's glare. Oh right, I was still blue.

"Honestly I'm fine. I just want to go home now please. Charlie's needs to know that everything's alright." And for the first time in months everything really was fine. My world was complete.

_The End_


End file.
